Going out today (as I am only a week away from my period) really did feel like climbing a mountain -
a hard thing to do but at the end you feel like you have achieved something great.
As I walked out the door I felt so nervous, and as I walked further and further towards the city I felt worse and worse. The urge to rush back home was so overpowering, it took all the knowledge from the book 'Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for dummies' for me to be able to resist that urge.
But the most important thing and surprising thing is that I did! I was physically able to go further than I have in years. I sat down in the city centre with lots of people walking by doing their day to day shopping, and I tried to calm my thoughts and convince myself that if I have a seizure and people have a problem with it then its their problem, not mine.
I was walked right through the city centre and even round three of the supermarkets (Iceland, Sainsbury's and Marks and Spencer)! I then went right down to Thorntons and bought my mum and dad lots of yummy chocolate treats for Halloween :)
When I got home I felt so good, like I really had climbed a mountain. I felt like I had really turned a corner in my struggle to overcome this anxiety and agoraphobia. They key is to not care if I have a seizure or not and to go out and do all the normal things I want to do, whether I 'feel like it' or not!
Esther xoxo
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